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3.14 Lyrics

Artist: Bloodhound Gang
Album: Hooray For Boobies

My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be
most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me,
Lefty? ya, but that was alright,
She was hotter than the sun, but she just wasn't that bright
My mistake she was more flakey than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she's a flunky
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of sea monkeys
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I'm not he smartest peanut in the turd
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any colour
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like em easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispy Treat, gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me.

I need to find a New Vagina
Any kinda New vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein? kinda, North Carolina

Women are like dog doo hear me through don't interrupt
It'd just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up
I'd fill the generation gap, clear the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture
No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese
Preferrably for me fat-free American singles only
I want my next chic anorexic the winner is the thinner
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
Like Sizzler she go ta beef we'll chew the fat
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough
No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
Just independant like NOFX smart like Janeane Garafalo
She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know
Bestow upon me of her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me.

I need to find a New Vagina
Any kinda New vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Kevin Klein? kinda, South Carolina

Vagina. . . .

Comments/Interpretations

by James on 5/13/2008 6:39pm
Best song by this band

by Shagg on 6/23/2008 2:51pm
It's really nice song [;

by bryn kr on 7/7/2008 4:26am
love it

by bum fluff on 7/28/2008 7:20am
this is the best fucking song in the whole world! i love it haha! im really bored ay commenting on a song from some random website.. what if there is a virus here or something .. haha.... jjkz.. well im really bored and done talking sooo im gonna go now haha! i love BLOODHOUND GANG ... xx BuM FLuFF xx

by SugarFits on 1/20/2009 9:30pm
They a little off :c

by Paedophile. on 7/13/2009 3:50pm
I find this song somewhat arousing

by carrie on 4/22/2010 1:14pm
haha i friiiking LOVE this song and i know i should find it offensive but i listen to it repeatedly lmfao

by Reaper on 9/17/2010 12:51pm
damn this is a great song

by nigger dick on 1/22/2013 3:01am
Niggers toungue my anus

by Jrc on 5/22/2013 10:33am
Play that harmonica girl

by Tiny jargon on 8/8/2013 1:52pm
I Like girls who remind me of my mother

by RiZ on 3/30/2014 2:54pm
I like girls that remind me of your mother too.

by shitstain mcgee on 3/23/2016 6:41am
i farted in a bowl of pudding then made my mom eat it