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If You Must Lyrics

Artist: Del The Funky Homosapien
Album: Both Sides Of The Brain

It's important to practice good hygiene
At least if you wanna run with my team
I'm bout to get into some shit that I've seen
This fool's breath, I mean so bad it'll melt your ice cream
They say don't say nothing if you can't say nice things
Sittin too close to him it burned(?) like my eyes sting
I try to be subtle, hand him a stick of gum
I was a victim of breath on him
Running his yap about what sets he from
Gotta get some gum gotta get him some
He turned it down, his teeth was brown
Excruciating for him and it was a new sensation
I had to ask the dope to pass the soap
Cuz his toe had the sniff of crustaceans
Or bathrooms in a bus station
He had a can of Olde E and some raisins
Amazing... head to toe B.O.
He didn't know, used to the fragrance
Just as the days went without bathing
He felt manly and not like a maiden
He had one dread, and fungus
Said he worked on peoples' toilets with plungers
Girls let the guy you were with ????
So guys take your cue from this number

[CHORUS] (x2)
You gotta wash your ass, if you must
You gotta wash your hair, if you must
You gotta brush your teeth, if you must
Or else you'll be funkyyyyyyyy

Now at class you need total concentration
But there's kids in the back holdin conversations
Crackin on each other, and neither were poster boys
Both of em smell like the type that soap avoids
Coast and Joy, they leave their absence
One's fool's feet smelled like it struck some matchsticks
Brimstone, girls would never bring him home
I was laughin, then his friend raised his tone
And said, "Bud(?) you rolled all over yourself" "yeaaa"
I know some people your ass should be submerged
Like you need to deal with water cuz you smell like a turd
Wanna cap get some courage, your feet smell lurid
Well look it up
And while you're at it, get a cup
And squeeze the sweat out your sweatshirt and drink it or gargle
You get our vote for most stinkiest
That nigga started thinkin of shit, said I was frail
I said he was stale
Underarms is ripe
Undergarments tight, about to leap out your holy sweats
And we holdin bets, and after this I'm gonna collect
Nigga check, yourself
Respect yourself
And wash your mothafuckin body 'fore your sweatshirt melt
Like radioactive, no lady find you attractive
The funk got you captive
You don't need a map bitch

[CHORUS] (x2)
You gotta wash your ass, if you must
You gotta wash your hair, if you must
You gotta brush your teeth, if you must
Or else you'll be funkyyyyyyyy

Comments/Interpretations

by Michelle on 6/5/2008 9:36pm
best rap song ever!

by Alex on 6/26/2008 9:41am
If all the nasty kids listened to this song, there would be no more problems. Kids need to get the fuck off the computer and take a shower these days...

by Alex on 6/30/2008 10:35am
That is awesome :)

by Alex on 6/30/2008 10:36am
that song is awesome :)

by that guy on 7/18/2008 8:31pm
dude, I need to take a shower now. brb.

by washmashine on 8/9/2008 3:52pm
damn there is no heat water in my house by a week! i need to take a shoooweeerr!

by Brandon on 8/27/2008 11:54pm
this song is hella tight i listen to it all the time

by Darian on 9/5/2008 6:31pm
Sittin too close to him it burned(?) like my eyes sting

Del is from Oakland CA. The transit system in the Bay Area is called BART.

He says sittin to close to him on BART, like my eyes sting!

by AnalTerror on 9/15/2008 11:15pm
Girls let the guy you were with ????
Girls Not the Guy You Would Want To Tounge Ya

by This song on 6/15/2009 11:40pm
this song is fuckin genious

by bigbass on 6/23/2009 10:53am
reminds me of the good ol days, playin tony hawk pro skater 3 in 5th grade, now im in 10th grade, good ol days back then!!!

by c on 6/30/2009 10:02pm
haha yeah same bigbass

by bl00dycl0wn on 7/23/2009 1:11pm
these lyrics are all fucked up ....did you even listen to this song more than once?

fuckin assholes put anything up just to get hits

by roccstar on 8/21/2009 10:30am
Funny tune, encourages "clean living" though...

by kiwi09 on 10/27/2009 11:50pm
thats some great lyrics........ i use to listen 2 that song when i had tony hawk

by LUDOG"TSD on 11/12/2009 7:27pm
HES TALKIN ABOUT FAKE RAPPERS TALKING SHIT AND HOW THEY STINK
NOT HOW SOMEBODY ACTUALLY STINKS

by cake on 11/22/2009 4:07pm
I have to go wash my ass

by Vaginapeniscock on 12/1/2009 10:43am
Remindes me of a homeless person

by kev on 12/10/2009 4:17pm
Ludog, this song is clearly about stinky people. Its very evident, and it has nothing to do with shit talking rappers.
You gotta listen to the song, if you must.

by Jonnie on 4/4/2010 3:34pm
Better wash your ass or youll be funkey

by Rob on 10/1/2010 6:52am
Thanks for the lyrics! There are some funkass jungle lines in here!

by Jack Sparrow on 12/19/2010 4:51pm
such a nice song xDDDDD

its abt stinky ppl

OOOOH MYYY god

by C. Skizm on 12/31/2010 6:40pm
WHoever wrote these lyrics out got alot of it completly wrong...

by superfly on 1/27/2011 6:31am
Said he worked on peoples' toilets with plungers...

"girls, not the guy that you'd want to tongue ya"

by MelThaFunnyHomosapien on 5/25/2011 11:17am
In the begining of the music video he says this song is about funky, smelly people

by ghht5bo8uriyt4ruy on 3/25/2012 4:28pm
this song fricken rocks

by jaded on 4/4/2012 12:19am
fucking tony hawk pro skater 3!!! haven't heard this shit in years.

by Jarrod on 7/24/2012 2:29pm
Haha! Tony Hawk!!!! Best stuff ever!

by Chris on 10/17/2012 11:58am
Tony Hawk pro skater 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Slosh on 4/16/2013 11:19am
Tony Hawk's track soooon Del gives the fucking dirty children the run down niggaaaa

by Dezz on 6/29/2016 10:37pm
* Girls not the guy you would want to tongue ya
* So guys take a cue from this little number