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The Certificate Lyrics

Artist: Hilltop Hoods
Album: The Calling

The certified have arrived, extraordinaire extravagant
Beers like confidence, man I'm drinkin' until I'm arrogant
Cause I'm a cocky fuck, Hit your girl and I knock her up
Girly what the fuck? In the net like a hockey puck. (score!)
Rappers get embarrassed when they see the way that we work
They try hard to (sherm) like fat guys swimming in T-shirts
Research your Oz hip-hop, before you step to us
And if you step, hands around your throat like a necklace

Missed the drum, young ladies gimme a call
My number's written next to Fuckwit on the Chicks bathroom wall
I'm slightly easy and a trife bit sleazy
With a wood of a red brick and chiselled body of Kim Beazley
My theory is, never touch the mic quite serious
A kid goes out on dates later than their next period
My crews got it made, rockin the place
With more dope rappers to match every branch here to colonnade

It's Certified Wise, no need to tell you again
Because these cunts can be so funky that the smell would offend
A dyke's girlfriend dog, now lets get straight to the point shall we
This rowdy crowd of MC's and DJ's know how to pound beats
Like kids with flat feet and crap beats walking down backstreets
So much work went into this to line the notes of fact sheets
Like black sheep I've got two words for those who slept
(nya, Nya nya nyoooo respect)

You thought it was safe, well guess what (what?)
Boys then beware; my friends will find your weak points (then what)
Get up in there.
Attack your mind, with a fine line when I find time
And I'll find out that you're walking if you're talking the grape vine
I'll waste time. Need to take on the job at hand.
The skills for this professional typical certified wise man
From Skybelleland, I'm becoming all your seeds and plants
So take cover as I rave under a Laundromat

I manifest Hip-Hop in it's highest degree (Certified Wise)
Somethin' I take very seriously (I sensualise, Certified Wise)

Every songs a collection of kids charmed lives
Like the porn section of gary glitters hard drive
Certified Wise throws a jam thats so hot it'd
Make a married man give up his annual blowjob
You better show something, with heading no bluffin
On the wrong side of my tracks, I'll smash your petticoat truncheon
In a suffering city, I'm punishing the pretty
And if you dont fuckin kill me I'll crush you without pity

I arrange certain words amongst silence
To be heard in abundance what mc's face redundance
Stereo speakers exceed beyond specifications
Through Extended noise generation
Let's cut the conversations to a small chat (why's that?)
I'm busy tryin to react to the hi-hat
Blockade and Certified stand tall above ridiculous under-achievers
And constant non-believers

I'm on stage with a hanful of panadols handin them out
Cos of the head throbbin from the head noddin
.... puttin you out for the count I'm like check,
You aint gonna get Certified respect
So hide your decks, ya mics I might blackout
In a cipher when I still take the title
The name sticks though....
(this verse is hard to hear and decipher, sorry people)

It's the budhist monks, with the certified mc's
I'll make you nod your head like Parkinson's disease
Sin sanity's but step to act we [another hard 1]
I got a hundred metronomes just waiting to go sync
So take ya pick but not the axe or the shovel
After hours I make beds rock like Barney Rubble
It's kinda subtle, the way that my flow bores
And leave your ears up shit creek without a funk oar

Now certified wise gotta hold o ya
We got the whole lot o cop and magnolia
We the freshest b-boys in night and in day
We hotter than Hades and blowin up speakers
There's no half-steppers, we far from a fake, we make
Rap music every Aussie can relate to
We'll never take a tumble, We're not gonna stumble
If you dis any member the result is LET'S RUMBLE

Let me show you new rappers how to do a posse reckin
[scratches]
Let me show you new rappers how to do a posse reckin
[scratches]
Let me show you new rappers how to do a poss poss posse re reckin

Complex compliments this simple to complete this individual
Simplex the original beat the hypocritical, ridicule
The weaker techniques that leave you burnt
Like anna bassa diva, either you do or you dont, we'll prove that you wont
Ever endeavour to get it together to better these fellas
I'll be like whatever, you get it?
You're wondering why you should never try
The reason certified is mr. nice with the wise guys

[next verse - in progress]

You faggot mc's always compare one another
Studio 2000's where you shot your album cover
I've the right patience, to your shit dictation
Then commence domestic mc word castration
Like excellent effects from a psychadelic manger
For you there's no escape like sperm in a franger
Simulated immitations fade away progressively
So go fuck yourself homaphrodite mc

[dj fill]

--unfinished--

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