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D&D (2005 Bonus Version) Lyrics

Artist: Stephen Lynch
Album: The Craig Machine

Harmonica. More harmonica.

I got my twelve sided die and im ready to roll with a wizard and my goblin crew. my friends are comin over to my moms basement bringin funyons and the mountain dew. i got a big broad sword made outa cardboard and that stereo thats pumpin zeppelin. dazed and confused. it's that time of the night, we turn on the black light, let the dungeons and the dragons begin!

it's D and D!!!!! fightin with the legends of yore. it's D and D!!!!!! never kissed a lady before. nope, i said it, WOOO! cmon wanna bring the thunder? ill bring the thunder, cmon bring the thunder lets go! aww thats nice. why dont you bring some thunder mother fucker. bring some thunder alright!

now the lord of the rings the dark crystal and things, we use these as a reference tool. and when we put on our cloaks and tell warlock jokes; we're the coolest kids in the school! no we're not, i know.

now tyke's a real bastard, but a fair dungeon master, he's got hitpoints and charisma to lend. and i rehearse in my room and i call the dragon's tomb when im at it with my girlfriend! it's D and D---wait wait wait, tyke, cmon. im sorry. woah hey wait, im sorry. hold on gimme one second. what? dude come on. seriously. what?! you got a fuckin...girlfriend? dungeon master! that's kind of a dick thing to say.

It's D and D!!!!! summoning the demons of hell. it's D and D!!!!!! when were shipped into the taco bell. chalupa!

well my mideval brother there's room here for another would you care to take a roll of the dye? you guys weap, you think that you can keep up with a warrior as mighty as i? see your in mortal danger i'm a first class ranger who's half gargoyle and half elf. and if that doesn't scare ya maybe i should beware ya what lurks within my gaming shell. next to my junior high annual lies my monster manual, and my customized dungeon master screen. i've got treasures and traps, on my graph paper maps, next to my three inch solid cyuta figurines. so if you think you got the balls, bring on your dungeon master calls. ill be protected by my rogue of destruction. and i will leave you both in tears cuz im the dungeon master here and you two are in need of some instruction.

it's D and D!!!!!! Warriors who terrify. It's D and D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Virgins! Till the day... we.................................................................................................................o oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

one two fuck you DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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