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Half A Man Lyrics

Artist: Stephen Lynch
Album: A Little Bit Special

All my days
I live with my disgrace
Iâ‚¬â„¢m afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear

See I was born
Like a half way neutered pet
I donâ‚¬â„¢t have a matching set
Itâ‚¬â„¢s a part of me
That just aint there
Please, donâ‚¬â„¢t stare

Well Iâ‚¬â„¢m a gambling man with out two dice
Iâ‚¬â„¢m like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But Iâ‚¬â„¢m half a man
Yeah, Iâ‚¬â„¢m half a man

Wanna die
end it all, just call it quits
I canâ‚¬â„¢t find a cup that fits
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
When I hear â‚¬Å“ball oneâ‚¬?

Oh, my God
How could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel
And the one thatâ‚¬â„¢s there must feel so sad
Heâ‚¬â„¢s a lonely man

Well Iâ‚¬â„¢m a marathon runner with just one leg
Iâ‚¬â„¢m a fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi
Do I have to beg?
Iâ‚¬â„¢m half a man

Well Iâ‚¬â„¢m a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
And Iâ‚¬â„¢m a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
And Iâ‚¬â„¢m a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
Iâ‚¬â„¢m just half a man
Yeah, Iâ‚¬â„¢m half a man

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